Is it possible for a woman to be a curmudgeon? If so, even though I’m generally thought of as an easy going person, I’m definitely a word curmudgeon.
What’s a word curmudgeon? It’s not just another name for a grammar snob; my hackles don’t rise very high when I hear someone say "who" instead of "whom" or "their" when "his or her" is what is really meant. No, I gave up long ago trying to get people to speak grammatically. After all, how many friends is it worth losing over a misplaced modifier.
But what vets my credentials as a word curmudgeon is what I’ve come to think of as "media speak," or more precisely, the misuse of language on the medium of television.
Do you know what a "Decision document" is? It took me a while to realize they were talking about a sales brochure! But what’s the use of having sales brochures when there are no more sales people? They’re all being turned into "Information assistants" or even "Information coordinators."
And did you realize there are no more used cars? They’ve all become "Pre-owned vehicles." I’ve recently learned that with certain pre-pre-owned (new) cars, you can "literally" take a test drive on your computer. I don’t think so; my computer, at least, has no power of locomotion. What you can do is "virtually" take a test drive, which turns out to be a look at the exterior and interior—maybe even in various colors.
If I’m going to have to listen to these absurdities, at least let them be said by a cute gecko, who, by the way, so far has stuck to pretty straightforward English.
Have you caught any other media-speak euphemisms? If so, let us know about them.
Paula "I meant what I said, and I said what I meant." Gifford